"...and her face was no longer downcast."

One of the biggest wake-up calls I've had from scripture recently has been this: in the place of broken-heartedness, is God truly my comfort?

At the beginning of 1 Samuel, we see Hannah's oppression. She was one of two wives, and whilst it says she was the most loved, she was unable to have children. The other wife, Peninnah, would bully her.
 "...her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her until she wept and wouldn't eat.." (1Sam 1:7)
"In her deep anguish, Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. [She said] "I am a woman who is deeply troubled... I was pouring out my soul to the Lord, I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief." (1Sam 1:10-16)

Hannah was broken-hearted over her lack - she faced bullying, provocation and comparison everyday. But she brought her pain and desire before the Lord and committed it to Him. She was persistent and fervent, praying to God directly from that place of suffering and presenting her heart before Him - exactly as it was.

She found comfort and relief in the presence of God, and the evidence of this is in the change in her behaviour afterwards - not only did she start eating again, but
her whole countenance and attitude changed.

"Her face was no longer downcast." (1Sam 1:18b)

Freedom from self.

I recently read a tiny book by Tim Keller called ‘The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness’. The book really is little, but what it's saying is huge.

The book is based on 1 Corinthians 3:21-4:7 where Paul talks about where we get our identity from. Basically, Paul writes that he doesn't care what others think of him, or even what he thinks of himself:  he cares only for what God thinks of him.

Keller observes the difference between what we see here, and how our society prescribes self worth. Today, we are generally told we have low self-esteem, and the ideal is a sky-high self-image. In the past it was the opposite. In Greek society, hubris - or pride - was the root of all evil.

Keller argues that in fact neither of these ideas can be correct, and Paul demonstrates this in how he lived his life.

In several letters, Paul underlines how weak he is and how many problems he faces.

"Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief." (1 Timothy 1:15)

If I knew that I was a terrible person, it would lower my self-esteem. But Paul doesn't care. He is incredibly confident in his letters, and remains one of the most influential people in history.

Paul’s self-image rested on what God said about him. There are countless verses in the Bible talking about God's love for us, and more than that - we know that when He looks at us He sees His son Jesus. 

The moment we believe, God says "This is my son with whom I am well pleased." (Matthew 3:17)

This is the difference between Christians and the rest of the world: with everyone else you act right, work hard and then you get the good verdict. They try to get their self-image from being a good person, so they work hard and then get a verdict from either their own ideology, or others, that confirms they are a good person. It's the same for Atheists, Buddhists, Muslims or people from any other religion.

Tim Keller's book reminded me a lot of Max Lucado's 'You are Special'. Lucado makes exactly the same point in a great way for children but Keller really goes into it and expands it for adults. It's definitely worth paying 99p for the ebook from Amazon. He explains it all a lot better than me and uses quotes from C.S. Lewis, Soren Kierkegaard and even Madonna.

"By my Spirit"

In the book of Judges, Gideon is instructed by an angel of God to save Israel from the Midianites. The Lord encourages him, and repeatedly tells Gideon that He will be there with him: "Go in the strength you have...I will be with you." (Judges 6:14-16) Gideon's honesty with the Lord in appealing to Him for encouraging signs is what comes through in this section, but I've been unable to take my mind off what happens next.

Judges 7:2 (TNIV)
'The Lord said to Gideon "you have too many men. I cannot deliver Midian into their hands, or Israel would boast against me 'my own strength has saved me."'

God knows us so intricately. He has such an innate understanding of human weakness that he is able to predict our pride. God can see when it will flare up, and sabotage our walk with Him - so, He works out our circumstances to protect us from it.

Otherwise, we are tempted to think that any success we have is due to our own skill, ability and works, rather than a gift given to us by His grace. The Bible says:

(Zechariah 4:6+10)
"Not by might nor by power, but by my spirit." says the Lord...
Who dares despise the days of small things...?"

The Word tells us that God's style is to use small beginnings and despised things to point towards His glory, and to keep us close to His heart, because we are unable to do anything alone. 

We are not given the full picture of how He will cause His Kingdom to come to earth, we are only given the enormous honour of participating in the process.

Examine the things you are trying to do; if you had all the answers, resources and skills to accomplish them from the outset, rather than finding them in the journey according to His plan, how would pride affect you?

Happy Wednesday!

Fear is a liar.

Paul's letters intimidate me. He was moved to do extraordinary things because of his love for Jesus, and he wrote from his prison cell to his fellow followers of Christ, trying to encourage them.

His boldness, despite his discouraging circumstances, feels impossible to imitate. He was a pretty hard act to follow.

He said in Phillipians 3:7-8:

"But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things."

He is saying that he actually refuses to let anything stand in the way of spreading the word about Jesus, because the fears that would stop him simply fade into insignificance when he compares them with the love Jesus has shown him.

When we look at applying this to our own lives, it can be easy to choose for the words stay on the page. If we're feeling really holy, maybe we could underline them.

But I believe that Paul really was trying to encourage us despite all his grand statements that can seem so terrifying - and this is why: Paul reveals to us his secret.

He also felt insufficient, he also felt scared.

(Phillipians 1:20) "I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or death."

Paul was not a naturally brave person. Instead, he was expectant.

He recognised that he lacked courage, but knew he could ask God for it with full confidence. All the bravery that he demonstrated was not his, but came from God, for His glory.

We don't need to be salesmen of God's love. We just need to tell it.

Someone once said to me something that I think can be applied to this trail of thought:


'The truth is like a lion. Once you set it free, it can defend itself.'

The Art of Thankfulness.

This week I've been revisiting Genesis. It always makes me surprised when people say that the Bible is boring, because Genesis is wild.

Anyway... I was reading about Jacob, and his two wives. Rachel was his favourite, and he got tricked into marrying Leah, who he didn't care about.

Genesis 29:31-35
"When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless. Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, 'it is because the Lord has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.'
She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, 'Because the Lord heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.' So she named him Simeon.
Again she conceived, and when she gave birth to a son she said, 'Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.' So he was named Levi.
She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, 'This time I will praise the Lord.' So she named him Judah.

Then she stopped having children."

 I personally think that when reading the Old Testament, we must be aware that it talks about life under the old promise that God had with his people - not the new one that we live in after Jesus changed everything.

However, we can definitely draw some important lessons from the Old Testament, and this is why I wanted to share this story.

Leah was chasing after love from her husband, and she couldn't see past her desire for this - it made her miserable. God kept blessing her, giving her what she needed to be joyful, but she couldn't accept it because she was till striving to earn her husband's love.

God was developing in her a thankful spirit despite her circumstances, and  it is only when she makes the conscious choice to rejoice and thank God that his purpose is fulfilled in her.

I think that this reveals some of God's heart towards us his children:

He is a patient and gentle teacher - Leah didn't get the message straightaway, she had four sons before she learnt to be thankful. God didn't give up, he kept blessing her because he knew her character perfectly, and understood what was necessary for her to learn.

 He wants us to be happy - He saw Leah's misery, and that was not what he had planned for. When we learn the art of thankfulness, it breaks our attitude of misery and teaches us how to be content. 

I will run to you.

I have a baby nephew. He's now 2 years old, and when he started walking, we had a favourite game.

I would kneel down and open my arms to him, and he would back away further and further. Then, all of a sudden, he would run shouting and laughing and launch himself into my arms. I loved being able to sweep him up and carry him around and show him he was loved.

He would run to me again and again and each time was just as exciting and beautiful as the last - I never got tired of him coming back to me.

Every time I come running back to God, I feel as though the number of chances he will offer me when I screw up are limited - as though they will one day run out. But he reminded me of this game, and actually this is how he feels about us.

When we understand love, we understand human love. It's difficult to think of it as something infinitely huge and more powerful than that. Yet if I never got tired of sweeping my nephew up in love, can you imagine how much more our Father is calling us into his arms?

He will never say 'enough now. I don't have anymore love to give you.' He is always calling us back to himself, always asking us to come closer. When we run back to him, ashamed and broken, he will always sweep us up in his love. We only have to look at the example of the prodigal son to see that this is true.

Luke 15:20
"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him."